The player is loading ...
Sept. 6, 2024
James reviews It Should Happen to You (1954) on Film4, and Home and Away on 5*
James is quite impressed with a 1954 film starring Judy Holiday and Jack Lemmon, but is very much not impressed with an Ozzie soap opera set in a bay.
The image for this episode was generated with the prompt:
A 1950s young woman is washing her hands with bubbly soap, while in the background an opera is being performed.
Chapters
00:07 - intro
00:43 - Should James give ratings?
02:51 - The reviews in this episode
04:09 - It should happen to you (1954)
14:22 - Home and Away
22:25 - What’s up next and conclusion
Transcript
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,000
Hello, I’m James Brook, and welcome to the thirty-forth episode of ‘I Review Freeview.’
2
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,000
This is where I review Freeview programs. Go to IReviewFreeview.com to search, listen, or indeed read and/or comment on all my reviews, past and present. And if you’re curious about the future, see the ‘What’s up next’ section at the end, or look on the website. That’s IReviewFreeview - all one word - dot com.
3
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,000
Right: first things first:
4
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,000
Regarding the great debate about if I should or should not give ratings for the programs I review.
5
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,000
Opinion is divided.
6
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,000
But I’ve remembered a bit of dialogue from Muriel Spark’s splendid novel, ‘the prime of Miss Jean Brodie’.
7
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Apologies in advance for … well, for even trying to channel my non-existent Maggie Smith.
8
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,000
Brodie: Can anyone tell me: who is the greatest Italian painter?
9
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,000
Jenny: Leonardo da Vinci, Miss Brodie.
10
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,000
Brodie: That is incorrect, Jenny. The answer is Giotto. He is my favourite.
11
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,000
And who is to say she is not right? For judgement of any form of art is so subjective and dependent on mood, breakfast, state of current divorce and recent bowel movements, it’s almost impossible to produce criticism that is nuanced, considered and fair.
12
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,000
And as I do more than one program in one episode, comparisons will be made. Odious comparisons even.
13
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Take, for instance, episode 22 where I reviewed ‘Bunraku’ a stylised martial arts movie, and the cartoon capers of The Simpsons. If I gave (say) one 4 stars and the other 5, it would imply one is better than the other, but in fact all it means is they are different films and thus judged on different criteria and measured against different standards.
14
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,000
And as I don’t want to explain this in every single episode, I’ll make a sweeping statement: rating systems, almost by definition, are probably rubbish. So I’m not going to do them. Unless the clamour from you guys becomes too much. Let me know.
15
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,000
Onward!
16
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,000
In this episode, I will review:
17
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,000
It Should Happen to You (1954) on Film4, and
18
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,000
Home and Away on 5*
19
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,000
OK, so there’s a comedy film from 1954 because somewhere in the back of my head bells are ringing, so maybe I’ve seen it and loved it or seen it and hated it or - more likely - I’m confusing it with something else entirely. And - Gawd help me - two episodes of a soap opera I’ve heard of but never seen.
20
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,000
By the way, the image for this episode was generated by a free AI image generator with the prompt:
21
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,000
A 1950s young woman is washing her hands with bubbly soap, while in the background an opera is being performed.
22
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,000
These episode images started life as a sort of small throwaway puzzle, giving clues to the joys to come, rather like a four piece jigsaw puzzle that fools no one over the age of four. Some idiot has even suggested they lower the tone! What? Poof! Rubbish!
23
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,000
And having sorted that, let us begin.
24
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:24,000
It Should Happen to You (1954) on Film4, Tuesday September 3, 11:00am
25
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,000
Well, it’s a black and white 1950s romantic comedy showing at 11 in the morning on film 4. Probably watched by 50 people, a guy named Malthouse, a dog with fleas, me and my tortoise, plus - maybe - a few thousand others.
26
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,000
In my intro, I said I’d review it because ‘somewhere in the back of my head bells are ringing, so maybe I’ve seen it and loved it or seen it and hated it or - more likely - I’m confusing it with something else entirely.’ Well, none of these things are true. It rang no bells and I don’t think I’m confusing it with anything else.
27
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,000
But I still feel I’d seen it before because it’s almost - note that ‘almost’ - entirely generic in direction, plot and script. Set in New York, an ambitious, feisty country girl meets cute with a young documentary filmmaker. Sparks fly, complications ensue, a handsome and wealthy young man with a foreign sports car becomes involved, and … oh, d’you really want me to go on?
28
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:28,000
Oh, OK - I’ll pretend to hear the crowded masses shouting ‘Yes! Go on!’
29
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,000
Well, it all turns out OK. Ding dong ding dong, wedding march, that sort of stuff.
30
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,000
But did you notice? I said it was - almost - entirely generic in direction, plot and script.
31
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,000
Let me unpack that.
32
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,000
First: the ‘almost’. Now, maybe it’s me, looking back some 70 years to 1954. But I felt there was more than a wiff of what we now call stalking. There is a scene where the rich young chap with the car takes our heroine home after their very first meeting. She says thanks and goes to her door, expecting him to drive off. He doesn’t. He gets out and follows her silently through her front door, up the stairs and along a landing. He doesn’t say a word, just sort of looms creepily behind her, arrogantly ignoring her increasing distress.
33
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,000
God, how I longed for her to suddenly turn round and punch him right on his sneery nose. Bop! He only desists when she reaches her room and manages to close the door on him.
34
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,000
And that’s not the only example. Right at the beginning we see the filmmaker in the park, taking cine camera shots of children playing, courting couples and, of course, our heroine. Try doing that now: go on, I dare you! Lug a 1950s period home movie camera complete with telephoto lens sticking out of it to your nearest park and start filming children playing. I’d give it 2 minutes before someone gets angsty.
35
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,000
And again: because he says he’ll send her the documentary he’s filming, she gives him her address. A few days later, it turns out he’s moved and is now living just across the hall from her room.
36
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,000
Creepy? Yep. But then, don’t forget, we’re talking 1954. Maybe social mores in New York were different then? I dunno: I was just a kid in shorts with grubby knees and a bit of thing for Shirley Abicair. For the sake of full disclosure here, I’d outgrown Muffin the Mule. And if those names mean nothing, have a google. Or not. (Ha!) I really don’t care.
37
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,000
Now, going back to the unpacking of ‘almost entirely generic in direction, plot and script.’
38
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,000
I did not mention the actors, and it’s this which, to my mind, to a certain extent, elevates this film above the general ruck of the commercially produced, run of the mill, instantly forgettable cinema fodder of the time.
39
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,000
There is Judy Holliday: not a name I’d really met before, but a bit of research shows she was a genuine - and very talented - big star of the time, reputed to have an IQ of 172. She plays Gladys Glover, who is a fast talking, dumb sounding but still somehow intelligent blond with massive ambition.
40
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,000
Opposite her is Jack Lemmon in his first major role as the young film maker (Pete) who is instantly smitten but hides it well. Hmmm. The problem here, of course, is that writing now, any assessment of Jack Lemmon is coloured by the knowledge of his later career. Now, we all know he was a superb actor, equally at home in roles serious or comic. And it’s difficult to see past that. A bit like trying to imagine tasting ice cream for the very first time in your life. To increase the double negatives to the point of absurdity, by definition you can’t not unforget the memorable. (Pause, Chuckle) yeah - and if you can work that out, you’re better than me.
41
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,000
In many respects, Jack Lemmon was the Tom Hanks of his day. I’ll come back to this later, if there is time. But we need to press on.
42
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,000
The third member of the cast is Peter Lawford, who was - supposedly - as an established star - the male lead. Well, he’s handsome and looks good in an open-topped sports car, but his character lacks depth, charm or indeed a requirement for any acting skill whatsoever. So one thinks it plays to his strengths.
43
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,000
At the start, Gladys Glover (Holliday) has lost her job modelling girdles and is mooching around a New York Park. She argues with a man listening to the radio and Pete (Jack Lemmon) starts filming her. They get into a conversation where she confesses she wants to be famous.
44
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,000
Later she sees a large billboard for hire, and she uses her savings to rent it, making it say ‘Gladys Glover’ and nothing else.
45
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,000
But the Adams Soap company, run by Evan Adams the III (Lawford) also wants the billboard. Astutely, she trades up to six slightly smaller boards, again, just showing her name.
46
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,000
People are intrigued and she starts appearing on TV. Soon Evan Adams the III is featuring her in adverts and talking about a national campaign.
47
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,000
Her dreams are being fulfilled, and she is becoming famous.
48
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,000
Evan Adams the III tries - and fails - to seduce her, and once more we all hope she punches him in the face. But she doesn’t.
49
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,000
Meanwhile, an increasingly sidelined Pete has been asking what is the point of meaningless fame. In the end he gives up and legs it out of her life, leaving behind a documentary he’s made saying he loves her. Oh no!
50
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,000
A little later, Gladys has a moment of truth: she’s giving a pre-written acceptance speech in her usual dogmatic but somewhat ditzy ‘famous’ style when she falters. She sees the essential emptiness of what she is doing. So she drops all the persona of fame and repeats the speech, only this time talking from the heart.
51
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,000
It’s a nicely judged, very, very well acted scene, neatly signalling she’s had enough of fame and - of course - that she loves Pete.
52
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,000
She finds him by sky-writing a message and - next thing you know - they’re married and happily driving off into a bright future. (Ahhhhh)
53
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,000
Run credits, that’s a wrap.
54
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,000
Thinking back now, a day or so after seeing this film, what do I remember? Well, basically, it’s Judy Holliday playing Gladys Glover. She shines. When she’s in the park, meeting Jack Lemmon for the first time, I found her constant talk extremely annoying. She never seemed to stop. Word after word. Maybe Gladys was meant to be nervous, but to me it didn’t look like that. She just seemed to be one of those honking people who never shut up.
55
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,000
But .. but but but .. as the film progressed along well-known romantic comedy lines, I forgot I was irritated. I started to like her. Even her obsession with being famous became almost normal. I wouldn’t say I followed her every move with bated breath - it’s not that kind of film - but I didn’t lose so much interest I started looking on Amazon for yet another unrequired electronic gizmo. I stayed with it and at the well signalled and predictable ending I almost - note almost - let go a sigh of contentment.
56
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,000
So: an enjoyable film, albeit with some behaviours which - now - I’m inclined to put down as failed attempts at comedy and/or lazy plotting rather than thinking ‘oh, this was 70 years ago. They did things differently then.’
57
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,000
And as for Jack Lemmon being the Tom Hanks of his day? Yeah, I stand by that. Which is not a comparison, but an accolade to both.
58
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,000
Oh God, I am going soft in my old age.
59
00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,000
But wait! Maybe I can get my sardonic teeth into:
60
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,000
Home and Away (Series 25) on 5* Wednesday September 4, 6:00pm and 6:30pm
61
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,000
Look, I know the thing about soap operas is that you need to watch consistently and over time to get to know the characters and the various plot lines, etc etc. It’s like joining a family. You need to settle in. Acquire some back story, such as ….
62
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,000
Knowing Gary hates Luke because sometime in the distant past, Luke stole Gary’s girlfriend Selena on a trip to the beach. That’s the Selena, by the way, who’s now twice divorced, currently in hospital after a car crash in Tom’s car - borrowed without Tom knowing about it - because she had to get to the dodgy payday lender before his heavies beat up Tom’s Dad who - Selena knows but Tom doesn’t - has a bad heart.
63
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,000
Don’t fret if you didn’t follow that. I won’t be asking questions later.
64
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,000
So, onto ‘Home and Away.’
65
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,000
Well, it’s Australian! I know that because it’s on a beach, it’s sunny, the men all have muscles, the girls are mostly tanned and - the give-away - they all speak with an Oz accent.
66
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,000
Which, you’ll be glad to know, I won’t attempt. I’ve probably already annoyed my Scottish listener. There’s no sense in annoying my Australian listener as well. God, I’ll never get a paying sponsor at this rate.
67
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,000
Despite being set on a beach, there’s not much sense of fun. It’s all very, very intense. Everyone has issues with everyone else. A kind of glum stare of aggressive constipation is the most common facial expression.
68
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,000
The plots are - as might be expected - numerous.
69
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,000
There’s a Dad turned up out of nowhere causing - would you believe - all sorts or upsets and ructions in the family dynamic. Arguments! Tantrums! Shouting! Slamming doors! Mega sulks!
70
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,000
There’s a new copper with muscles who likes sitting in his police car jotting down the number plates of a group of bad boy surfers. But his sister (who appears to be the only person in the universe who’s enjoying herself) is having rumpy-pumpy with the leader of the bad boys. Arguments! Shouting! Storming out!
71
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,000
And the cop is also in a relationship with one of the daughters of the suddenly returned dad. Upsets! Arguments! Reconciliation? .. umm, not so sure about that.
72
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,000
Also, there’s an older woman with a drink problem who is going through hell trying to decide if she should be interviewed on TV (or perhaps for a paper) about some scam she fell for. So she sits looking out to sea sipping whiskey. Tension! Changing moods! Shouting!
73
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,000
As if all that wasn’t enough, there’s a proto-plot gently simmering, about the guy who runs the surfboard stall, who has done a nice bit of artwork on a new board he’s just sold to the leader of the bad boys. (Ooo!)
74
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,000
It looks like he might be involved with them.(Oooooo!) I expect this to lead to surfboard wars! Shouting! Menace! Storming out and doors slamming.
75
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,000
I have to say, I hated it. Thinking it might just be first impressions, I watched it twice. Both episodes, back to back. And hated it even more the second time around.
76
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,000
There’s so little attempt at nuance or different dramatic shades. Practically every scene is milked for all its emotional worth. Even periods of seeming normality (for e.g. in the cafe, when they are discussing the best way to help the dipsomaniac owner) the underlying tone of ‘something disastrous is just around the corner’ lurks like a predatory octopus in the shadows.
77
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,000
I longed for … (ermm) I’m struggling here .. I long for more writing skill, I suppose. Better dialogue, more rooted in reality. And, to be fair, it is attempted, but the time constraints - we’ll come to that later - mean at best they are perfunctory and at worst non-existent.
78
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,000
However, it’s not all doom and gloom. One of the things I noticed second time around was that some of the woman (not sure about the men) looked older. More wrinkles! A slightly scrawny neck or two. (Ha!) Maybe middle age has not vanished, so much as been varnished. (Poof!)
79
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,000
And now, as we’ve segwayed into home decorating analogues, let’s talk about program content. ‘Cause they’re pretty liberal with the poly-filler, slapping it generously into all the cracks.
80
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,000
Meaning that if you add up the 3 commercial breaks, a lengthy catch-up on the previous episode and a trailer to the next, you suddenly find that’s 11 minutes out of the scheduled 30. 11 minutes! That’s well over 30%, and means there’s less than 20 minutes of fresh content. Which brings me back to the time constraints I mentioned earlier.
81
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,000
When you’ve got to shoehorn 3 or so storylines into 19 minutes, there’s no time for anything subtle. Biff Bang Boff, reduce everything to a couple of emotional highlights, have a bit of shouting and … well, time to jump to the next storyline to keep that stoked as well.
82
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,000
Essentially, they’re plate spinning. If they slow down, everything goes smash.
83
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,000
And this - to a greater or lesser extent - is why I dislike soap operas. To keep going, day after day, month after month, year after year, storyline after storyline, they have to spin those plates like mad, and it gets tiring.
84
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,000
And - conversely - this is why they are universally popular. Had a dull day? Kids been getting you down? Bit of a headache? Blowfly eaten your turnips? Whatever, never mind, watch a soap opera, where life is never dull and things are always happening. I understand that and welcome it. After all, if we were all the same, how dull life would be. But not for me.
85
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,000
Not that this really affects me. If my TV watching habits were a cup of tea, soap operas, along with gardening-porn, cooking-porn, property-porn, reality game shows and anything with people sitting on sofas would be right down there with the dregs, only watched when you’ve no friends or family to chat to, no books to read, no walks to go on and your radio is bust.
86
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,000
‘Home and Away’ was the first soap opera I’ve watched for well over a decade, and I shall count myself lucky if I never see another.
87
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,000
Series record? Certainly not! After all, if the only thing we have to fear is fear of bad TV, then we’re doing OK.
88
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,000
And that misquote from Franklin D. Roosevelt concludes the reviews for this episode of ‘I Review Freeview.’
89
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,000
Next time, I will review:
90
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,000
Countryfile on BBC1, Sunday September 8, 7:00pm and
91
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,000
Coogan’s Bluff (1968) on ITV4, Monday September 9, 9:00pm
92
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,000
Having been brought up in a small country village, I’ve always felt I should watch ‘Countryfile’ as a sort of nod to my childhood. Tractors! Thatched cottages! Mud! Men with trouser legs tied with string! But in all honesty, I don’t expect anything like that. Except maybe the mud. So it should be interesting. Fingers crossed it’ll be bucolic and informative. And in contrast, an old Clint Eastwood movie I’ve never managed to see. He’s usually good value so - as I’ve said before - if I’m watching, I might as well review.
93
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,000
As ever, contact me via email to contact@IReviewFreeview.com or through the website IReviewFreeview.com where you can also click on the page ‘What’s up next.’ to see what programs I’ll be reviewing next time.
94
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,000
Thank you for listening, and goodbye for now.
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,000
Hello, I’m James Brook, and welcome to the thirty-forth episode of ‘I Review Freeview.’
2
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,000
This is where I review Freeview programs. Go to IReviewFreeview.com to search, listen, or indeed read and/or comment on all my reviews, past and present. And if you’re curious about the future, see the ‘What’s up next’ section at the end, or look on the website. That’s IReviewFreeview - all one word - dot com.
3
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,000
Right: first things first:
4
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,000
Regarding the great debate about if I should or should not give ratings for the programs I review.
5
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,000
Opinion is divided.
6
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,000
But I’ve remembered a bit of dialogue from Muriel Spark’s splendid novel, ‘the prime of Miss Jean Brodie’.
7
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Apologies in advance for … well, for even trying to channel my non-existent Maggie Smith.
8
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,000
Brodie: Can anyone tell me: who is the greatest Italian painter?
9
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,000
Jenny: Leonardo da Vinci, Miss Brodie.
10
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,000
Brodie: That is incorrect, Jenny. The answer is Giotto. He is my favourite.
11
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,000
And who is to say she is not right? For judgement of any form of art is so subjective and dependent on mood, breakfast, state of current divorce and recent bowel movements, it’s almost impossible to produce criticism that is nuanced, considered and fair.
12
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,000
And as I do more than one program in one episode, comparisons will be made. Odious comparisons even.
13
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Take, for instance, episode 22 where I reviewed ‘Bunraku’ a stylised martial arts movie, and the cartoon capers of The Simpsons. If I gave (say) one 4 stars and the other 5, it would imply one is better than the other, but in fact all it means is they are different films and thus judged on different criteria and measured against different standards.
14
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,000
And as I don’t want to explain this in every single episode, I’ll make a sweeping statement: rating systems, almost by definition, are probably rubbish. So I’m not going to do them. Unless the clamour from you guys becomes too much. Let me know.
15
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,000
Onward!
16
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,000
In this episode, I will review:
17
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,000
It Should Happen to You (1954) on Film4, and
18
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,000
Home and Away on 5*
19
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,000
OK, so there’s a comedy film from 1954 because somewhere in the back of my head bells are ringing, so maybe I’ve seen it and loved it or seen it and hated it or - more likely - I’m confusing it with something else entirely. And - Gawd help me - two episodes of a soap opera I’ve heard of but never seen.
20
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,000
By the way, the image for this episode was generated by a free AI image generator with the prompt:
21
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,000
A 1950s young woman is washing her hands with bubbly soap, while in the background an opera is being performed.
22
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,000
These episode images started life as a sort of small throwaway puzzle, giving clues to the joys to come, rather like a four piece jigsaw puzzle that fools no one over the age of four. Some idiot has even suggested they lower the tone! What? Poof! Rubbish!
23
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,000
And having sorted that, let us begin.
24
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:24,000
It Should Happen to You (1954) on Film4, Tuesday September 3, 11:00am
25
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,000
Well, it’s a black and white 1950s romantic comedy showing at 11 in the morning on film 4. Probably watched by 50 people, a guy named Malthouse, a dog with fleas, me and my tortoise, plus - maybe - a few thousand others.
26
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,000
In my intro, I said I’d review it because ‘somewhere in the back of my head bells are ringing, so maybe I’ve seen it and loved it or seen it and hated it or - more likely - I’m confusing it with something else entirely.’ Well, none of these things are true. It rang no bells and I don’t think I’m confusing it with anything else.
27
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,000
But I still feel I’d seen it before because it’s almost - note that ‘almost’ - entirely generic in direction, plot and script. Set in New York, an ambitious, feisty country girl meets cute with a young documentary filmmaker. Sparks fly, complications ensue, a handsome and wealthy young man with a foreign sports car becomes involved, and … oh, d’you really want me to go on?
28
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:28,000
Oh, OK - I’ll pretend to hear the crowded masses shouting ‘Yes! Go on!’
29
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,000
Well, it all turns out OK. Ding dong ding dong, wedding march, that sort of stuff.
30
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,000
But did you notice? I said it was - almost - entirely generic in direction, plot and script.
31
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,000
Let me unpack that.
32
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,000
First: the ‘almost’. Now, maybe it’s me, looking back some 70 years to 1954. But I felt there was more than a wiff of what we now call stalking. There is a scene where the rich young chap with the car takes our heroine home after their very first meeting. She says thanks and goes to her door, expecting him to drive off. He doesn’t. He gets out and follows her silently through her front door, up the stairs and along a landing. He doesn’t say a word, just sort of looms creepily behind her, arrogantly ignoring her increasing distress.
33
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,000
God, how I longed for her to suddenly turn round and punch him right on his sneery nose. Bop! He only desists when she reaches her room and manages to close the door on him.
34
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,000
And that’s not the only example. Right at the beginning we see the filmmaker in the park, taking cine camera shots of children playing, courting couples and, of course, our heroine. Try doing that now: go on, I dare you! Lug a 1950s period home movie camera complete with telephoto lens sticking out of it to your nearest park and start filming children playing. I’d give it 2 minutes before someone gets angsty.
35
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,000
And again: because he says he’ll send her the documentary he’s filming, she gives him her address. A few days later, it turns out he’s moved and is now living just across the hall from her room.
36
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,000
Creepy? Yep. But then, don’t forget, we’re talking 1954. Maybe social mores in New York were different then? I dunno: I was just a kid in shorts with grubby knees and a bit of thing for Shirley Abicair. For the sake of full disclosure here, I’d outgrown Muffin the Mule. And if those names mean nothing, have a google. Or not. (Ha!) I really don’t care.
37
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,000
Now, going back to the unpacking of ‘almost entirely generic in direction, plot and script.’
38
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,000
I did not mention the actors, and it’s this which, to my mind, to a certain extent, elevates this film above the general ruck of the commercially produced, run of the mill, instantly forgettable cinema fodder of the time.
39
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,000
There is Judy Holliday: not a name I’d really met before, but a bit of research shows she was a genuine - and very talented - big star of the time, reputed to have an IQ of 172. She plays Gladys Glover, who is a fast talking, dumb sounding but still somehow intelligent blond with massive ambition.
40
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,000
Opposite her is Jack Lemmon in his first major role as the young film maker (Pete) who is instantly smitten but hides it well. Hmmm. The problem here, of course, is that writing now, any assessment of Jack Lemmon is coloured by the knowledge of his later career. Now, we all know he was a superb actor, equally at home in roles serious or comic. And it’s difficult to see past that. A bit like trying to imagine tasting ice cream for the very first time in your life. To increase the double negatives to the point of absurdity, by definition you can’t not unforget the memorable. (Pause, Chuckle) yeah - and if you can work that out, you’re better than me.
41
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,000
In many respects, Jack Lemmon was the Tom Hanks of his day. I’ll come back to this later, if there is time. But we need to press on.
42
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,000
The third member of the cast is Peter Lawford, who was - supposedly - as an established star - the male lead. Well, he’s handsome and looks good in an open-topped sports car, but his character lacks depth, charm or indeed a requirement for any acting skill whatsoever. So one thinks it plays to his strengths.
43
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,000
At the start, Gladys Glover (Holliday) has lost her job modelling girdles and is mooching around a New York Park. She argues with a man listening to the radio and Pete (Jack Lemmon) starts filming her. They get into a conversation where she confesses she wants to be famous.
44
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,000
Later she sees a large billboard for hire, and she uses her savings to rent it, making it say ‘Gladys Glover’ and nothing else.
45
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,000
But the Adams Soap company, run by Evan Adams the III (Lawford) also wants the billboard. Astutely, she trades up to six slightly smaller boards, again, just showing her name.
46
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,000
People are intrigued and she starts appearing on TV. Soon Evan Adams the III is featuring her in adverts and talking about a national campaign.
47
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,000
Her dreams are being fulfilled, and she is becoming famous.
48
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,000
Evan Adams the III tries - and fails - to seduce her, and once more we all hope she punches him in the face. But she doesn’t.
49
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,000
Meanwhile, an increasingly sidelined Pete has been asking what is the point of meaningless fame. In the end he gives up and legs it out of her life, leaving behind a documentary he’s made saying he loves her. Oh no!
50
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,000
A little later, Gladys has a moment of truth: she’s giving a pre-written acceptance speech in her usual dogmatic but somewhat ditzy ‘famous’ style when she falters. She sees the essential emptiness of what she is doing. So she drops all the persona of fame and repeats the speech, only this time talking from the heart.
51
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,000
It’s a nicely judged, very, very well acted scene, neatly signalling she’s had enough of fame and - of course - that she loves Pete.
52
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,000
She finds him by sky-writing a message and - next thing you know - they’re married and happily driving off into a bright future. (Ahhhhh)
53
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,000
Run credits, that’s a wrap.
54
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,000
Thinking back now, a day or so after seeing this film, what do I remember? Well, basically, it’s Judy Holliday playing Gladys Glover. She shines. When she’s in the park, meeting Jack Lemmon for the first time, I found her constant talk extremely annoying. She never seemed to stop. Word after word. Maybe Gladys was meant to be nervous, but to me it didn’t look like that. She just seemed to be one of those honking people who never shut up.
55
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,000
But .. but but but .. as the film progressed along well-known romantic comedy lines, I forgot I was irritated. I started to like her. Even her obsession with being famous became almost normal. I wouldn’t say I followed her every move with bated breath - it’s not that kind of film - but I didn’t lose so much interest I started looking on Amazon for yet another unrequired electronic gizmo. I stayed with it and at the well signalled and predictable ending I almost - note almost - let go a sigh of contentment.
56
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,000
So: an enjoyable film, albeit with some behaviours which - now - I’m inclined to put down as failed attempts at comedy and/or lazy plotting rather than thinking ‘oh, this was 70 years ago. They did things differently then.’
57
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,000
And as for Jack Lemmon being the Tom Hanks of his day? Yeah, I stand by that. Which is not a comparison, but an accolade to both.
58
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,000
Oh God, I am going soft in my old age.
59
00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,000
But wait! Maybe I can get my sardonic teeth into:
60
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,000
Home and Away (Series 25) on 5* Wednesday September 4, 6:00pm and 6:30pm
61
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,000
Look, I know the thing about soap operas is that you need to watch consistently and over time to get to know the characters and the various plot lines, etc etc. It’s like joining a family. You need to settle in. Acquire some back story, such as ….
62
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,000
Knowing Gary hates Luke because sometime in the distant past, Luke stole Gary’s girlfriend Selena on a trip to the beach. That’s the Selena, by the way, who’s now twice divorced, currently in hospital after a car crash in Tom’s car - borrowed without Tom knowing about it - because she had to get to the dodgy payday lender before his heavies beat up Tom’s Dad who - Selena knows but Tom doesn’t - has a bad heart.
63
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,000
Don’t fret if you didn’t follow that. I won’t be asking questions later.
64
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,000
So, onto ‘Home and Away.’
65
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,000
Well, it’s Australian! I know that because it’s on a beach, it’s sunny, the men all have muscles, the girls are mostly tanned and - the give-away - they all speak with an Oz accent.
66
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,000
Which, you’ll be glad to know, I won’t attempt. I’ve probably already annoyed my Scottish listener. There’s no sense in annoying my Australian listener as well. God, I’ll never get a paying sponsor at this rate.
67
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,000
Despite being set on a beach, there’s not much sense of fun. It’s all very, very intense. Everyone has issues with everyone else. A kind of glum stare of aggressive constipation is the most common facial expression.
68
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,000
The plots are - as might be expected - numerous.
69
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,000
There’s a Dad turned up out of nowhere causing - would you believe - all sorts or upsets and ructions in the family dynamic. Arguments! Tantrums! Shouting! Slamming doors! Mega sulks!
70
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,000
There’s a new copper with muscles who likes sitting in his police car jotting down the number plates of a group of bad boy surfers. But his sister (who appears to be the only person in the universe who’s enjoying herself) is having rumpy-pumpy with the leader of the bad boys. Arguments! Shouting! Storming out!
71
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,000
And the cop is also in a relationship with one of the daughters of the suddenly returned dad. Upsets! Arguments! Reconciliation? .. umm, not so sure about that.
72
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,000
Also, there’s an older woman with a drink problem who is going through hell trying to decide if she should be interviewed on TV (or perhaps for a paper) about some scam she fell for. So she sits looking out to sea sipping whiskey. Tension! Changing moods! Shouting!
73
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,000
As if all that wasn’t enough, there’s a proto-plot gently simmering, about the guy who runs the surfboard stall, who has done a nice bit of artwork on a new board he’s just sold to the leader of the bad boys. (Ooo!)
74
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,000
It looks like he might be involved with them.(Oooooo!) I expect this to lead to surfboard wars! Shouting! Menace! Storming out and doors slamming.
75
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,000
I have to say, I hated it. Thinking it might just be first impressions, I watched it twice. Both episodes, back to back. And hated it even more the second time around.
76
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,000
There’s so little attempt at nuance or different dramatic shades. Practically every scene is milked for all its emotional worth. Even periods of seeming normality (for e.g. in the cafe, when they are discussing the best way to help the dipsomaniac owner) the underlying tone of ‘something disastrous is just around the corner’ lurks like a predatory octopus in the shadows.
77
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,000
I longed for … (ermm) I’m struggling here .. I long for more writing skill, I suppose. Better dialogue, more rooted in reality. And, to be fair, it is attempted, but the time constraints - we’ll come to that later - mean at best they are perfunctory and at worst non-existent.
78
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,000
However, it’s not all doom and gloom. One of the things I noticed second time around was that some of the woman (not sure about the men) looked older. More wrinkles! A slightly scrawny neck or two. (Ha!) Maybe middle age has not vanished, so much as been varnished. (Poof!)
79
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,000
And now, as we’ve segwayed into home decorating analogues, let’s talk about program content. ‘Cause they’re pretty liberal with the poly-filler, slapping it generously into all the cracks.
80
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,000
Meaning that if you add up the 3 commercial breaks, a lengthy catch-up on the previous episode and a trailer to the next, you suddenly find that’s 11 minutes out of the scheduled 30. 11 minutes! That’s well over 30%, and means there’s less than 20 minutes of fresh content. Which brings me back to the time constraints I mentioned earlier.
81
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,000
When you’ve got to shoehorn 3 or so storylines into 19 minutes, there’s no time for anything subtle. Biff Bang Boff, reduce everything to a couple of emotional highlights, have a bit of shouting and … well, time to jump to the next storyline to keep that stoked as well.
82
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,000
Essentially, they’re plate spinning. If they slow down, everything goes smash.
83
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,000
And this - to a greater or lesser extent - is why I dislike soap operas. To keep going, day after day, month after month, year after year, storyline after storyline, they have to spin those plates like mad, and it gets tiring.
84
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,000
And - conversely - this is why they are universally popular. Had a dull day? Kids been getting you down? Bit of a headache? Blowfly eaten your turnips? Whatever, never mind, watch a soap opera, where life is never dull and things are always happening. I understand that and welcome it. After all, if we were all the same, how dull life would be. But not for me.
85
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,000
Not that this really affects me. If my TV watching habits were a cup of tea, soap operas, along with gardening-porn, cooking-porn, property-porn, reality game shows and anything with people sitting on sofas would be right down there with the dregs, only watched when you’ve no friends or family to chat to, no books to read, no walks to go on and your radio is bust.
86
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,000
‘Home and Away’ was the first soap opera I’ve watched for well over a decade, and I shall count myself lucky if I never see another.
87
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,000
Series record? Certainly not! After all, if the only thing we have to fear is fear of bad TV, then we’re doing OK.
88
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,000
And that misquote from Franklin D. Roosevelt concludes the reviews for this episode of ‘I Review Freeview.’
89
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,000
Next time, I will review:
90
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,000
Countryfile on BBC1, Sunday September 8, 7:00pm and
91
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,000
Coogan’s Bluff (1968) on ITV4, Monday September 9, 9:00pm
92
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,000
Having been brought up in a small country village, I’ve always felt I should watch ‘Countryfile’ as a sort of nod to my childhood. Tractors! Thatched cottages! Mud! Men with trouser legs tied with string! But in all honesty, I don’t expect anything like that. Except maybe the mud. So it should be interesting. Fingers crossed it’ll be bucolic and informative. And in contrast, an old Clint Eastwood movie I’ve never managed to see. He’s usually good value so - as I’ve said before - if I’m watching, I might as well review.
93
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,000
As ever, contact me via email to contact@IReviewFreeview.com or through the website IReviewFreeview.com where you can also click on the page ‘What’s up next.’ to see what programs I’ll be reviewing next time.
94
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,000
Thank you for listening, and goodbye for now.