James reviews 'Civilisation' on BBC4, 'Young Sheldon' on E4 and 'Alfred Hitchcock Presents' on Sky Arts

Hello, I’m James Brook, and welcome to the fifteenth episode of ‘I Review Freeview.’ 

There is a short intro podcast, which you can listen to if you like. But really it’s straightforward: you suggest upcoming Freeview programs and I review them. If no-one suggests anything, then I have a look and choose something myself. 

Remember: send suggestions and comments to contact@ireviewfreeview.com or go to IReviewFreeview.com. 

Additionally, on IReviewFreeview.com, you can now see what I’m going to be reviewing next time. Oh Joy!

In this episode, I will review: 

Civilisation on BBC4,

Young Sheldon on E4 and

Alfred Hitchcock Presents on Sky Arts

That’s episodes from a couple of series disinterred from a remote TV age when Fanny Craddock cooked cream inspired dishes while wearing a glamorous ball gown and weathermen stuck little felt clouds on maps of the UK, alongside a US spinoff sitcom which, if it matches its parent, is well worth a watch.

By the way, the image for this episode was generated by a free AI image generator with the prompt:

a painting of the silhouette of a man in front of a henge type stone with a background of a scientific diagram in a children’s book

so, here we go.

Civilisation (Man: The Measure of all things) on BBC4, Monday 29th April, 10:00pm

Oh, they don’t make documentary programs like this anymore. Probably not then either, except once, 13 times, for this series.

The writer and ever dead centre presenter is Sir Kenneth Clark plus - I suspect - some letters like KMC, MA, MFI, KFC. 

Now don’t get this particular Sir Kenneth Clark confused with Ken Clarke, the jazz loving, suede shoe wearing minister for all seasons in the Thatcher/Major governments during the 1980s and 90s. They are two separate people. For instance it’s almost impossible to think of Sir Kenneth eating fish and chips while listening to a jazz band in Margate. Not so plain old Ken: who, one suspects, would splash on more vinegar and light up a cheroot when finished.

Anyway, the full title of the series is ‘Civilisation: a personal view.’ For it’s very much exactly that: A. Personal. View. There are no other experts, no examination of contrasting ideas, hardly any mention of civilisations outside Western Europe and a concentration on art as the sole measure of a civilised society and lots of name drops of Italians you’ve never heard of. 

But - I hear you cry (or more probably don’t) - ‘civilisation?’ what about justice? And isn’t equality somewhere in the mix as well? And forms of government and the structure of society? Surely ‘Civilisation’ cannot be measured solely by art? And, while I’m thinking about it, Western Europe was not - is not - cannot be the only place ‘civilisation’ in quotes happened? Has 14th century China vanished? Did the Mughals catch a spaceship to the moon? Not to mention the Aztecs and the Incas.

In answer, I suspect Sir Kenneth would look down his nose and say ‘it’s my personal view, and art is what I know.’ If he felt friendly, he might add, ‘I know so much, 13 episodes hardly scratches the surface. The BBC gets what it’s paid for. Now, step aside please and let an expert tell you what to think.’

And this he does, starting in 14th century Florence and soon exploring the other Italian city states, with stunning views of art and architecture.

It is very informative and educational and sane. It all makes sense and hangs together as a convincing narrative. It’s easy to forget earlier doubts about this approach and think: ‘Yes, God has spoke.’

For - sure as eggs is eggs: Sir Kenneth knows his stuff. And he’s not afraid to let you know he knows his stuff. He’s not a modern day TV expert with a modern day appreciation of what documentaries should look like. Effectively, this is a lecture. If he were standing at a lectern in front of a large screen showing carefully assembled and synchronised views and moving images of old buildings, paintings and statues, the result would be much the same.

And that’s what I notice the most. The biggest difference between then - the late 1960s and now, some 60 years later - is that nowadays, documentary presenters - as far as possible, keep moving. They stride over landscapes and stand on rocks or the prows of ships. And if they have to stop to - for instance - to talk about an ancient gizmo dug up in oh, I dunno, Somerset - the camera picks up the movement, circling the artifact like a bird of prey.

Modern documentaries are seldom static. It’s almost as though they’re afraid to remain still. As if, once stationary, all the viewers would instantly switch off or turn over to another channel or start a video game or even talk to someone. Oh, the horror!

But Sir Kenneth is resolutely static, wearing - regardless of the weather or the temperature - a suit with an immaculately tied tie. No flies on this dude: they wouldn’t dare land.

And, I have to admit: I loved it. I followed his seamless transitions from one painting to the next. I gawked at the soaring archways and swallowed whole his description of the Renaissance as the revival of classical ideals and … (ummm) other stuff. 

Because, although it all hung together, it didn’t necessarily stick in my mind longer than it takes thrown porridge to slide down a wall. 

But I am left with the undoubted feeling that’s my fault, not Sir Kenneth’s. For he has spoke and if I don’t remember the word of God, the sin is mine.

Ha! Ha!

Have I put it on series record? Of course I bloody have!

‘Nuff said. (chuckle)

Young Sheldon (S 6 E 9: College Dropouts and the Medford Miracle) on E4, Tues April 30, 10:40am

‘Young Sheldon’ is a spinoff from the wildly successful and - initially - wildly funny series ‘The Big Bang Theory,’ or TBBT as probably no-one calls it. In TBBT, a central character - arguably the central character - is Sheldon Cooper, a genius/childish/ridiculous/autistic/dictatorial scientist who, as played by Jim Parsons, is undoubtedly one of the finest TV comic creations in the last 20 years or more.

In ‘Young Sheldon’ he’s a child prodigy and the series tracks his attempts to fit in both with his family and the outside world.

Now TBBT went on way way too long. Some 279 episodes! 279! That’s near 140 hours of TV. More than M*A*S*H in fact. Towards the end, say for the last 50 or even 100 programs, it was running on empty.

To pick up on a theme I mentioned a few weeks back, TBBT obeyed one of the few immutable laws affecting any long-running TV series: it turned into soap opera, with multiple small plots stretching over several episodes, actors so comfortable they hardly tried and a dwindling, loyal audience laughing only because they know it’s expected.

Just to go off on a tangent here: I am not denigrating soap opera. Good soap operas are great: ongoing, long running, dramas with multiple plot lines and a mixture of both light and dark themes. What I dislike are programs not initially designed as soap operas turning into soap operas, to squeeze out a few more dozen episodes. And, when the original concept just doesn’t fit, something has to give. Take, for example, ‘Endeavour,’ a police procedural series which starts OK and has some good meaty crime solving, but then Endeavour himself goes and has a sudden and unlikely affair with a beautiful Italian lady. Cue lots of staring into space and boring heart-to-hearts interlaced with other coppers having tedious domestic problems, absurdly concluding with a policeman sitting in a graveyard quoting Shakespear.

OK. Rant over. Haven’t done that for a while. Must be getting old. Or - to be honest - trying to find something to say to lengthen this review of ‘Young Sheldon,’ or it’d be over too quickly.

So …. back to it, I suppose.

‘Young Sheldon’ cunningly avoids all the dangers of turning into soap opera by being one from the off. No audience, multiple plot lines and nothing more exciting than the odd chuckle or two. Scenes are short and constructed to finish on a tiny snort of amusement. For instance one of the plot narratives is Sheldon looking for funding for some techi idea he’s got. No-one listens as he’s only 12 or so.

After one such meeting he asks his Mum how long it would take him to grow a moustache.

That’s it. That’s the joke. Ha ha and where’s the zapper.

Right from the start, you know precisely what they’re angling for: an ‘odd man out’ comedy within a warm, loving and comfortably amusing family drama. Sheldon’s spikiness is offset by the normality of the other members. He has great schemes, they have domestic problems. He is confident he can change the world: all they want to do is change their socks without getting footrot. And within the large cast there’s enough variety to ensure everyone watching can identify with at least one person.

So, as far as the creators are concerned, job done. Another vanilla product to add to the ever growing lucrative pile of nothing much. But for me, considering I came directly from the sheer laugh out loud comic genius of ‘The Big Bang Theory' in its pomp,’Young Sheldon’ is a huge disappointment. 

Series record? nope.

And moving swiftly onto the second fossilised dinosaur in this episode of I review Freeview, we have:

Alfred Hitchcock Presents (S 5 E 3: Appointment at Eleven) on Sky Arts, Tuesday April 30, 6:00pm 

Of all the old black and white half hour series from way way back, I always keep a weather eye on ‘The Twilight zone’ and ‘Alfred Hitchcock presents’ because having a small half hour pocket filler to hand is always useful if you have 30 minutes to spare and no book to read.

Both series are of extremely variable quality, ranging from 

Well scripted, finely acted and tightly directed dramas to

Vastly over extended 5 minute anecdotes which really shouldn’t have escaped the deadly axe of a producer saying this is beeping rubbish

Well, this episode of ‘Alfred Hitchcock presents’ falls firmly into one of those 2 categories. In a probably futile attempt to extend the tension (woo!) I’ll tell you at the end where I’ve placed it.

It starts with a young man tossing and turning as he wakes up in the evening. It’s a hot, sweaty day. He lives with his Mum in what looks like a low grade rental apartment. She’s cooked him something to eat, but he’s not interested. He’s angry with his absent Dad and full of tension. He says he has an appointment at 11 and storms out.

In a bar, a girl - possibly a prostitute - tries to pick him up, but his conversation is disjointed and disturbed. Why she doesn’t leg it out of there as fast as possible is anyone’s guess. She’s a blond, and he gives a rambling tale of how he doesn’t like blonds as his father once came home with one and he watched them or something. I forget the details.

Some sailors come in and he gets into a fight with one of them, but then they make it up and go and have a burger together. Somewhere along the line, he says someone will die at eleven.

I can’t remember exactly what happens next, but the sailor seems to fade from the scene and the young man is alone in another bar. On the TV there is a news report of a man being executed at 11 for killing a blond girl. It’s the young man’s father.

So everything becomes clear. Well sort of. And to make sure it’s finished we all think: super dooper. Roll credits, that’s a wrap.

As you can probably tell, I’ve put this episode very firmly into option 2: Vastly over extended 5 minute anecdotes which really shouldn’t have escaped the deadly axe of a producer saying this is beeping rubbish.

I really sympathise with the actors involved: particularly the young guy, who has to emote away for at least 25 minutes (allowing for commercials and introduction) regurgitating a humdrum, uninspiring script and trying to follow lacklustre, bored direction.

They tried to keep your interest by hinting maybe he was going to kill someone, or perhaps kill himself or even that he’s had a mystical premonition, but the main character (supposedly aged 17) looks much older and is to boot, one-toned and remorselessly lightweight. It’s impossible to generate any sympathy for him. And his ‘adventures’ (I’m doing air quotes here) before the big reveal are banal and tedious.

And as for series record: well, yes, as sometimes there’s a little gem waiting to be discovered.

But, unfortunately Alfred: this time, you have delighted us not long enough.   

And that misquote of Jane Austen’s Mr Bennet concludes the reviews for this episode of ‘I Review Freeview.’

Don’t forget, contact me through the website Ireviewfreeview.com or email contact@ireviewfreeview.com.

And - if you want to watch along with me to see if you agree with what I say later, the programs I’m reviewing next time are on IReviewFreeview.com.

Thank you for listening, and goodbye for now.