James Reviews a Jack Ryan Movie on E4, 'The Brokenwood Mysteries' on Drama and 'The 1% club' on ITV1

Hello, I’m James Brook, and welcome to the sixteenth episode of ‘I Review Freeview.’ 

There is a short intro podcast, which you can listen to if you like. But really it’s straightforward: you suggest upcoming Freeview programs and I review them. If no-one suggests anything, then I have a look and choose something myself. 

Remember: send suggestions and comments to contact@ireviewfreeview.com or go to IReviewFreeview.com. 

And don’t forget, on IReviewFreeview.com, you can now see what I’m going to be reviewing next time. What more could anyone want!

In this episode, I will review: 

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit on E4, 

The Brokenwood Mysteries on Drama

The 1% Club on ITV1 

That’s a formulaic thriller where people run around a lot, a New Zealand based light police drama and yet another gameshow where I’ll just get cheesed off because I can’t answer any question at all. 

By the way, the image for this episode was generated by a free AI image generator with the prompt:

a colourful, energetic painting of a kiwi bird, a smoking revolver and a large question mark.

So, here we go.

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit on E4, Friday May 3, 9:00pm 

This is a late replacement for ‘Naked Attraction’ which had a severe attack of the technical glitches. Not my fault, I must add. I’m just as keen as anyone to get the jiggly bits behind me. I’ve scheduled them in for the podcast after this. So - sorry - you’ll just have to hang onto your grapes until then.

Meantime, here’s a look at the slick, do it by numbers thriller ‘Jack Ryan: shadow recruit’ which is the sort of popcorn movie I usually enjoy. Shallow depth, little feeling and lots of slightly cartoon menace.

Cartoon? Yes, because you always know the good guys get to win. Even when there’s a heavyweight  talent (Kenneth Branagh in this case) acting his thespian socks off as the bad guy, it’s only a matter of time before the juggernaut of justice crushes him into pulp. Unless of course they need to resurrect him for a sequel.

So, how does it start? Well, there’s a young Jack Ryan compelled by 9/11 to join the marines, where he gets shot down. On being mended he starts a romance and gets recruited to the CIA and is sent off to be an analyst in wall street.

He finds suspicious goings on in computer files he can’t access, so the CIA get him sent to Moscow as an undercover agent.

And, to ensure the CIA know there’s something going on, the bad guys, instead of allowing him to poke around, find nothing and go home, immediately try to kill him. 

But he’s the eponymous Jack Ryan, so they can’t have him dead. So he kills their assassin and from then on in it’s car chases, guns and people with headsets staring at screens while rapidly typing on keyboards.

It turns out Russia has a fiendish twin attack plot. It’s been keeping the USA economy secretly propped up by buying US dollars. They’re also organising a terrorist attack. When this happens they’ll sell all their dollars, prompting a financial meltdown and the end of western civilisation. Or something like that.

As ever with this type of film, the details are not that important, and certainly don’t need to hang together with any sort of logic. As long as the bad guys and the good guys can go chasing around after each other, that’s good enough.

So it seems Jack Ryan has to be a little more pro-active than merely killing an assassin: now - in a comfort break from dinner with chief bad guy - he’s got to break into a high tech HQ, plug in a laptop, access some encrypted data, download it to a USB stick and get back to his cooling Russian fish and chips with no one becoming suspicious.

Ha! fat chance. His girl-friend’s abducted and Jack’s warned off with the threat of an exploding light bulb.

But of course he gets there in time, rescues her and they all skiddale back to the good ‘ole USA to foil the terrorist plot, which they do with more car and motorbike chase action, culminating with a big, harmless underwater explosion. Chief baddy gets shot in a forest by people higher up in the Russian food chain while Jack Ryan recuperates with his loved one.

As I said - all pretty routine.

Chris Pine makes a likeable, energetic and almost believable Jack Ryan while Keira Knightley emotes away as the love interest and Kevin Costner does his well worn older statesman but still vigorous enough to kill a few terrorists act.

I enjoyed it. The pace is brisk with very few dull romantic bits and the length short at just over an hour and a half, which, compared to over 2 hours for the Mission Impossible franchise, is excellent.

I suppose, one day, people might get fed up with action thrillers like these. Possibly when the tech is as dated as the horse and cart is now. But I have the feeling that will not happen in my lifetime: the need for heroes, villans and action probably started with Og the caveman enthralling his children with tales of daring do while chasing Woolly Mammoths across the frozen tundra, so I would say it’s set to go on for a good few years yet.

Ha! All that and not a jiggly bit to be seen.

So, moving on:

The Brokenwood Mysteries (S 2 E 1: Leather and Lace) on Drama, Saturday May 4, 6:00pm 

I once said I wouldn’t review police procedurals … (poof!) well, when a request comes in, who am I to say no?

So, thanks to R&F, whoever and wherever they are: many thanks for the suggestion.

‘The Brokenwood Mysteries’ is set in the small New Zealand town of Brokenwood and is a beguiling mix of ‘Midsomer Murders’, ‘Death In Paradise’ and the yet to be written one-off Christmas special ‘laugh along with Taggart.’ In other words, it’s got ridiculous plots, sunshine and a dash of humour mixed in with the policework.

This episode starts with a young woman alone on a road at night. She tries to hitch a ride, but the car is aggressive and she’s chased into the woods.

Next up, we see the members of the local rugby club out for a training run. On the playing field, they find their rugby coach, dead, stripped, and tied to one of the goal posts. 

And all this before they run the opening credits! A nice little taster of the delights to come. 

The credits end and the three detectives: Shepherd, Simms and Breen are on the pitch along with Gina the pathologist, a slightly joke Russian, but as she’s the sort of woman who’d win an arm wrestle with a gorilla, you wouldn’t dare say that directly to her. As Breen plays rugby and was part of the group that discovered the body, his independence is compromised, so a small subplot is started when he’s sent home, moaning his partner will make him decorate the spare room.

The 2 remaining detectives investigate, uncovering a rich and diverse collection of suspects, ranging from an ex-wife with an insurance policy, a player with anger issues who’s been dropped from the team, and three other rugby players who went around to the coach’s house to sing taunting songs.

Gina finds the dead man had satin knickers stuffed down his throat, with the mysterious initials ‘GG’ embroidered on them.

And then a missing person’s report comes in and the girl (remember her, right at the start, on the road?) is discovered, murdered, in the forest.

Two murders, and one detective is at home painting walls duck egg blue. But thankfully, a high up policeman turns up with a surfboard, does a 5 minute investigation, declares Breen can resume working, and departs for a water sport themed weekend.

Now the team is complete again and they push on, slowly and methodically ruling suspects in or out, discovering lies and associations. ‘GG’ is found to be a newly arrived librarian with a somewhat murky past. Like a rich and sumptuous cake, or a multi-story hen coop, there are layers upon layers. (Boom Boom!)

As so often with TV murder mysteries, with about 10 minutes to go, the solution is heralded by a montage of the chief detective staring into space, re-examining the evidence, revisiting the victim’s house, and looking thoughtfully intelligent.

He gets back to the station and explains all to the other two, whereupon they pile into cars and go dashing off to stop another death.

Run credits, that’s a wrap.

I like this program, in the same way you’d like a playful dog if it learnt to throw a stick for itself.

The characters are well defined, there’s a good range of regulars who often give information, some reliable, some not and - crucially - there’s little back story to clog up the works. But, having said that, I seem to remember seeing an episode where the head detective is away on a road trip sorting out a wife or an ex-wife or something. He keeps phoning in and making suggestions, which slows everything down and adds absolutely nothing to the narrative arc. Really: who cares what these people do in their spare time? Not me.

Have I got this on series record? Well, I used to have, but no longer: all they seem to doing at the moment is regurgitating ones I’ve already seen. So, c’mon now: time for a fresh season.

And now, to finish, a game-show! (woo)

The 1% Club (S 3 E 10) on ITV1 Saturday May 4, 8:55pm

Not requested by anyone in particular: I just thought maybe it’s time to look at a game-show, although usually they leave me cold. But this one is hosted by Lee Mack, who’s always struck me as fast witted and down to earth when released from the dire concrete of an actual script.

‘The 1% club’ is a cunningly crafted quiz, where a 100 people are slowly whittled down to a select the few who can then opt to answer the 1% question and win a share of £100,000. 

The USP of this particular quiz is that it prides itself on the questions being not about knowledge, as are - for instance ‘who wants to be a millionaire’ or ‘the chase’ but can be solved with logic and common sense. The questions steadily get harder, matching the percentage of people who managed to solve them. The ‘1% question’ was only solved by 1% of the people asked. Hence, if you make it all the way through and then get the final answer correct, you become a member of ‘the 1% club.’ And of course take home a shedload of dosh.

Tempting, huh?

Now I've always thought of myself as clever and intelligent: a cut above the usual ruck. Although, at the back of my mind, there’s a consistent defeatist voice saying I’m as dim as two short planks and couldn’t organise a fart in a cowshed.

But ‘logic and common sense?’ (ha!) I spent 35 years in IT, where - supposedly - logic is king. It isn’t but that’s another story. But even so, programming computers for hours on end must count for something, mustn’t it?

So I’m well up for this. I settle down with my notepad, a cup of coffee, a small assortment of rice cakes and crackers and an annoyingly persistent draught from somewhere.

Question 1 was answered correctly by 90% of the people that tried. I stared at it. My brain refused to function. What does it mean, ‘what two word phrase is pictured here?’ with photos of A: a man standing looking chilly and B: two naked feet. It seemed ridiculously obscure. Time ticked down. You’re only allowed 30 seconds. And then, my brain switched on. Simples! Cold feet! I wrote it down, feeling smug, and when confirmed, gave myself a big tick. Hurrah!

There is a set format to the staging of the questions and answers. Once a question has timed out, the lights dim, the music pulses and bing! All those still in the contest are highlighted and the number of people who failed is shown. Lee Mack does a cheerful bit of banter with a loser or a winner, the correct answer is given and the next question posed. 

This gives the program a reassuring choreography: if you needed to pop out for a quick pee you’d know exactly when to leave and - on returning - exactly where you are.

I found question 2 simpler than question one: ‘which of these creatures has the same number of letters in it’s name as the number of legs it has?’ and we are given a choice, one of which is ‘goat.’ Ignore the rest: goat is obviously right. 4 letters, 4 legs. It doesn’t matter if you can’t remember how many legs are attached to a spider: there won’t be more than one correct answer, will there?

I wrote ‘GOAT’ in large capital letters on my notepad. And then had second thoughts about arachnids.

But it was goat, of course. (poof!) look at all those silly people who picked spider.

Question 3 floored me. I didn’t understand it, it meant nothing, I had no clue at all at all at all. Yet 70% of the people asked got it correct.

God, I felt so dumb!

It was ‘an Engilshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. Which one is wrong?’

Dear Listener, as Jane Austen never said, don’t beat yourself up if you don’t get it, because ‘I review Freeview’ is an audio only podcast. The answer is ‘Englishman’ as it’s wrongly spelt. But with my pronunciation, how would you know?

So, for you, that question doesn’t count, but for me, staring at the words on my big screen TV, knowing it has to be showing me the answer, it’s humiliating I just don’t get it. I even paused it to stop it timing out, and still never saw it.

So I am officially dumber than 70% of the population.

But wait: question 4 heaves into view, and I know I’ve got it right almost instantly! Question 3 was obviously an aberration. I’m still in the quiz! Hurrah!

But the inner defeatist voice says ‘loser. In the real world, you’d be out, along with your light.’

And question 5 confirmed it. Five slices of King Charles’s face are shown. Which one doesn’t belong? And I had absolutely no idea. And even when they showed the answer, I still didn’t see it.

Woe is me. My dumbarse rating has officially dropped from 2 short planks to 3.  

And so this infuriating quiz trundled on. Contestants dropped out. I did, several times more. Lee (we’re on first-name terms now: he’s that sort of person) had bantering interchanges with a chap who wants eyebrows and another who’d spend £20,000 on trainers with self-tying laces and a quiet gentleman wanting to build a mechanical chia tea maker. And they all got further than me! 

In the end, there were just two contestants left - one of them the wannabe chai tea magnate - and they both opted to have a go at the 1% question.

As I’d got the previous 2 answers (10% and 5%) right, I was feeling chipper again. Obviously, the harder the question, the easier I - with my superior brain - found it. Bring it on!

It was ‘what four letter word replaces the missing part of this sentence: ‘Mr Owl ate my metal dash dash dash dash’

I was stumped, and considering (again) that an audio only podcast is not a visual medium, if any of you - dear listeners - gets it right with or without writing in down: well done and completely brilliant, and no short planks will ever come your way.

The answer is (tootle tootle tootle) ‘worm’. The sentence is a palindrome, reading the same forwards as backwards. Like ‘madam I’m Adam’ or ‘sit on a potato pan, otis.’

Not easy to spot even when you know what to look for. And to work it out from my mumblings away would be incredible.

As an annoying aside - which I’ve just looked up - the longest known English palindrome is something like 17,000 plus words, starting ‘A man, a plan, a cameo, Zena, Bird..’ developed - but of course - by a computer buff with an algorithm and an online dictionary. So to me it doesn’t really count.

I have to say I enjoyed the hour I spent with ‘the 1% club’ Lee Mack is a fine host although - as ever - there was too much banter for me.

Have I put it on series record? Nah. But if it was on, I’d probably watch, which is more than I can say about most quiz shows.

So, in the end, it’s a good gameshow, although I couldn’t ever be a contender.

And that misquote from ‘On The Waterfront’ concludes the reviews for this episode of ‘I Review Freeview.’

Don’t forget, contact me through the website Ireviewfreeview.com or email contact@ireviewfreeview.com.

And, also on IreviewFreeview.com, click on the page labeled ‘What’s up next.’ and see what programs I’ll be reviewing next time.

Thank you for listening, and goodbye for now.