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Nov. 24, 2024
Goodbye for now
Completely devoid of energy or the will to carry on, James says farewell (for now) to podcasting in a poignant, short episode.
The image for this episode was generated by a free AI image generator with the prompt: 'In a desolate landscape a small tortoise is looking at a bill board bearing the text, Goodbye for Now'.
Transcript
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,000
Hello, I’m James Brook, and welcome to what is possibly the final episode of ‘I Review Freeview.’
2
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,000
In the previous episode, I said - being unutterably depressed at the result of the 2024 U.S.A presidential election - that I wouldn’t be doing this podcast for a while.
3
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,000
That was over a fortnight ago.
4
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,000
Yep, the collective brain fart that has put an incompetent criminal and would be dictator in charge of the United States of America has blown across the Atlantic and flattened my little podcast.
5
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,000
I think, what is the point of doing reviews of ‘Rumpole of the Bailey’ or ‘Rising Damp’ or the totally rubbish ‘Gladiators’ when the world as I understand it has suddenly lurched 30 degrees from upright?
6
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,000
We seem to have entered the age of stupid.
7
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,000
And, to a great extent, I’m turning my back on it. For the future, which has been pretty dodgy for a long while now, has started to look as black as pitch. Yep: I’m going on about climate change, again. We humans are like an old couple arguing over the last wine gum while their only house burns down around them.
8
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,000
But I’d better not turn this possibly valedictory episode into a rant.
9
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,000
Not than many of you will actually be listening anyway. Over the last eight months, I’ve pushed out 44 episodes containing some 130 reviews. And d’you know what my listening statistics are? (poof!) As far as I can tell, as figures and charts bewilder me now-a-days, there’s possibly been 50 or 60 listeners in total, with maybe 4 or 5 hundred downloads. I’ll repeat that: 50 or 60 listeners in total. That’s smaller than the average number of spectators at a village cricket match in the rain.
10
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,000
And, as for listener involvement, I’ve only ever had one person getting in touch: a request for me to review the film ‘Bunraku.’ And that was from my son.
11
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,000
All in all, it’s been absolutely pathetic, considering the effort put in. Doing this podcast has been like my full time job. Hours I’ve spent, carefully crafting words into sentences, sentences into paragraphs and paragraphs into 25 or so minutes of the spoken word. 50 odd years ago, living in bedsits and hoping Mum would drop by with a food parcel and a 5 pound note, I could knock out 30 minutes of dialogue a day. (Ha!) How times have changed.
12
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,000
Through no real effort of my own, I now have enough money and time to never write another word. I tell myself I started podcasting to stave off dementia. To keep my brain from turning into sticky goo. Which is true, but also I was - not so secretly - hoping to be discovered. To be the voice over on commercials for .. oh, I dunno, an insurance company, or twinkle toes cat food. Well-known enough so, when I ask for help to check out loose bananas at Tesco’s self-service till, the kind girl who helps me frowns slightly at my request, as if thinking ‘I’ve heard that voice before.’
13
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,000
(Huh!) A small ambition indeed.
14
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,000
I suppose I shouldn’t complain. A year ago, when I’d just conceived of the idea of a podcast and was avidly Googling ‘How to start a podcast,’ they all said marketing is key. Have links, they said, to social media. Reference other podcasts and ask them to reference you. Join that whole swirly-whirly online world of self-aggrandisement to make yourself - and your podcast - known.
15
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,000
A tall order for someone who doesn’t have a Facebook account, doesn’t really know what Instagram is, has never knowingly seen a tiktok video and is bemused at the idea of Twitter. These things live on the periphery of my online life, like ghouls and ghosts inhabiting the dark at the edge of the known world.
16
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,000
And that’s really where I plan to keep them. Although, I have to admit, it’s probably a losing battle.
17
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,000
In the early days, when I Review Freeview was freshly minted, several enterprising people sent me emails saying - for a fee - they could increase the number of my listeners many times. I always replied that would be great, and proposed they worked for nothing in exchange for 50% of any fees I received for putting out commercials.
18
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,000
I never heard from any of them again.
19
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,000
(Ha!) Well, what next?
20
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,000
Umm. I’ve had an idea, and I’m thinking of writing a novel. A humorous detective story, sliding adroitly between the real world - possibly set in the 1970s - and an imagined 1980s. If I can pull it off, that would be fantastic. But shush! I have said enough.
21
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,000
Oh: a small plug, if any of you are interested, my auto-biography is available on Amazon books. I’ve not sold a single copy for several years, so God knows what the ranking is. It’s called - for reasons that are explained - ‘Those Diana Moments.‘
22
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,000
Hey! I’ve just done some marketing!
23
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,000
Thank you for listening, and goodbye - from both myself and my tortoise - for … well, a month or two at least, who knows. Goodbye.
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,000
Hello, I’m James Brook, and welcome to what is possibly the final episode of ‘I Review Freeview.’
2
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,000
In the previous episode, I said - being unutterably depressed at the result of the 2024 U.S.A presidential election - that I wouldn’t be doing this podcast for a while.
3
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,000
That was over a fortnight ago.
4
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,000
Yep, the collective brain fart that has put an incompetent criminal and would be dictator in charge of the United States of America has blown across the Atlantic and flattened my little podcast.
5
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,000
I think, what is the point of doing reviews of ‘Rumpole of the Bailey’ or ‘Rising Damp’ or the totally rubbish ‘Gladiators’ when the world as I understand it has suddenly lurched 30 degrees from upright?
6
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,000
We seem to have entered the age of stupid.
7
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,000
And, to a great extent, I’m turning my back on it. For the future, which has been pretty dodgy for a long while now, has started to look as black as pitch. Yep: I’m going on about climate change, again. We humans are like an old couple arguing over the last wine gum while their only house burns down around them.
8
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,000
But I’d better not turn this possibly valedictory episode into a rant.
9
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,000
Not than many of you will actually be listening anyway. Over the last eight months, I’ve pushed out 44 episodes containing some 130 reviews. And d’you know what my listening statistics are? (poof!) As far as I can tell, as figures and charts bewilder me now-a-days, there’s possibly been 50 or 60 listeners in total, with maybe 4 or 5 hundred downloads. I’ll repeat that: 50 or 60 listeners in total. That’s smaller than the average number of spectators at a village cricket match in the rain.
10
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,000
And, as for listener involvement, I’ve only ever had one person getting in touch: a request for me to review the film ‘Bunraku.’ And that was from my son.
11
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,000
All in all, it’s been absolutely pathetic, considering the effort put in. Doing this podcast has been like my full time job. Hours I’ve spent, carefully crafting words into sentences, sentences into paragraphs and paragraphs into 25 or so minutes of the spoken word. 50 odd years ago, living in bedsits and hoping Mum would drop by with a food parcel and a 5 pound note, I could knock out 30 minutes of dialogue a day. (Ha!) How times have changed.
12
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,000
Through no real effort of my own, I now have enough money and time to never write another word. I tell myself I started podcasting to stave off dementia. To keep my brain from turning into sticky goo. Which is true, but also I was - not so secretly - hoping to be discovered. To be the voice over on commercials for .. oh, I dunno, an insurance company, or twinkle toes cat food. Well-known enough so, when I ask for help to check out loose bananas at Tesco’s self-service till, the kind girl who helps me frowns slightly at my request, as if thinking ‘I’ve heard that voice before.’
13
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,000
(Huh!) A small ambition indeed.
14
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,000
I suppose I shouldn’t complain. A year ago, when I’d just conceived of the idea of a podcast and was avidly Googling ‘How to start a podcast,’ they all said marketing is key. Have links, they said, to social media. Reference other podcasts and ask them to reference you. Join that whole swirly-whirly online world of self-aggrandisement to make yourself - and your podcast - known.
15
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,000
A tall order for someone who doesn’t have a Facebook account, doesn’t really know what Instagram is, has never knowingly seen a tiktok video and is bemused at the idea of Twitter. These things live on the periphery of my online life, like ghouls and ghosts inhabiting the dark at the edge of the known world.
16
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,000
And that’s really where I plan to keep them. Although, I have to admit, it’s probably a losing battle.
17
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,000
In the early days, when I Review Freeview was freshly minted, several enterprising people sent me emails saying - for a fee - they could increase the number of my listeners many times. I always replied that would be great, and proposed they worked for nothing in exchange for 50% of any fees I received for putting out commercials.
18
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,000
I never heard from any of them again.
19
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,000
(Ha!) Well, what next?
20
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,000
Umm. I’ve had an idea, and I’m thinking of writing a novel. A humorous detective story, sliding adroitly between the real world - possibly set in the 1970s - and an imagined 1980s. If I can pull it off, that would be fantastic. But shush! I have said enough.
21
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,000
Oh: a small plug, if any of you are interested, my auto-biography is available on Amazon books. I’ve not sold a single copy for several years, so God knows what the ranking is. It’s called - for reasons that are explained - ‘Those Diana Moments.‘
22
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,000
Hey! I’ve just done some marketing!
23
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,000
Thank you for listening, and goodbye - from both myself and my tortoise - for … well, a month or two at least, who knows. Goodbye.